people are beautiful and the hours are good.

Are you saying you DON'T hang spatulas on the wall or dress your wine in kimonos?

 I'm going as "the cosmos" for Halloween. I will be accompanied by Carl Sagan.

Adventures in DC again this weekend. Surrounded by long-time friends and hey, my Dad, too - why not? 

A good end to another week of cheap food and good conversation.

Is the whole world insane?!?

Some days, I really can't help but wonder.

Que Sera Sera

Acceptance and Trust have historically been things in life that just didn't resonate with me. I've struggled with trusting myself in many ways: achieving success, maintaining health, pursuing interests, cultivating friendships... the list goes on and on. No matter how hard I tried to 'listen to myself' or act on instinct, this voice inside of my head would always seem to get in the way.  Analyzing and recalculating all possible actions until a seemingly flawless and widely accepted path presented itself. This was the path to choose. No matter that most of the time this paths was in total opposition to my own wants, and even my own NEEDS.... This was THE way. Buck up, Smile, and Go.

A lot of this stems from a long-standing total incapacity to Accept.  Accepting the reality of the present is huge in learning how to trust. Without trust, one begins to rely on Control. Control nurtures Expectation. Expectation breeds an unwillingness to Accept.

Well. These days my attitude has changed. It has been a long, incredibly difficult, and still challenging path to get and STAY here. I don't even fully understand the journey which lies behind nor ahead, but I do know that I am enjoying being Here, Now.

Coming Home.

messing around with GIMP this morning. out of bed at 5:15am; slept on the couch by accident again. dreams involving new friends and old; the setting continues to be India. still haven't really been able to gather my thoughts about that trip very fully. just a flurry of images.

curiosity may have killed that one cat....

...but all of the other cats probably learned something! 

Hooray for curiosity; truly fuel for the soul!

Actually, according to a very unscholarly source, curiosity is, "the fuel of science and all other disciplines of human study." Or, more directly: the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness.  Being that I am a bit personally obsessed and largely driven by my own curiousness, I decided to do some research about this strange state, which lies somewhere between instinct and emotion.

What is curiosity? Where did it originate and who or what posses it? I have already answered the first of these questions, although when one stops to think of the magnitude of a single state fueling all disciplines of human study, any attempt at a concise definition begins to seem a bit...unresolved.  So let's delve in. 

Curiosity. Well, according to a more scholarly source, curiosity can be defined as, "the ability to understand, develop and express in a systematic fashion, novel orderly relationships." Call me crazy, but I actually think dictionary.com did a better job capturing what we all actually experience when feeling ' curious.' However, this more rigorous attempt does bring up some good points. Namely it points out what the pre-requisites are for achieving a curious state: 1) the capacity to understand what is being perceived and to identify aspects in this perception which are divergent to what is already known (i.e., notice), 2) the ability to develop hypotheses based on this new information (i.e., wonder) and 3) the desire to find an answer to these hypotheses and express them either in words or actions (i.e., act). 

Let's look at all of those components. Are they all REALLY necessary to achieve a truly curious state? I am going to go with a yes on this one. Why? Because only the combination of these three (notice, wonder, act) can distinguish a truly curious state form what I will call 'idle wonder.'

Idle wonder is something that I would be willing to guess we all experience countless times a day. Small thoughts during absent drifts; "Why don't the magnets in shower curtains work better?", "Why does my cat always sit on whatever I happen to be reading?", "How come my power blows every time I try to use the toaster AND the microwave?". Questions like these in and of themselves are not problematic, in fact they actually demonstrate the first phase of being curious. However, most idle wonderings often go unanswered. Only a truly curious mind is motivated to embark on systematic hypothesis formation and willing, nay excited, to get analytical in order to find an answer! 

 

But, of course, this leads us to more questions. What are the motivations of curious minds in forming these hypotheses and answering these questions? Often these processes seem almost subconscious in nature, whereas other times the energy to seek is acutely felt, and yet the drive to know seems to outweigh the burden of effort.  Why does there seem to be a gradient of curiousness among humans as well as certain animals. Are there neural correlates to this state of being, perhaps even an evolutionary trace of 'curiosity development'? 

Although my pondering discussion on the definition of 'curiosity' is far from complete, it is to these new questions which I now turn my research. I shall test my own hypotheses and attempt to find some answers. And, of course, always look forward to finding more questions. 

 

More later. In the meantime, Stay Curious.

Hide. Face. Overcome.

 

my year in a nutshell